It's Kickball, not Rugby

My husband has a hobby, which is playing on an adult kickball team. They play every Thursday then go out for drinks afterward. It makes him happy, gives me one evening a week to have some alone time, and is cheap. Win-win situation. Except for the fact that my husband seems to think that kickball is a full contact sport and/or one that he can make into a professional career. Every week, he makes some ridiculous play that leaves him battered. While I can usually ignore the wounds, we have now come to a whole new level of stupidity with this week's injury. But first, a recap.

As can be expected, most of his injuries consisted of a scraped leg from trying to slide or dive for the ball- acceptable. There have been a few ankle sprains from running to base, etc., fine. But there have also been injuries that seem avoidable- running into the net backing, protecting home so fiercely he had his ribs bruised in a full-on collision with a 100 lb girl, etc. But this week, we have reach a whole new level of ridiculousness.

He has a wound approximately 3 in long, at least 1 1/2in wide, that oozes gross stuff from attempting- ATTEMPTING- a catch. He did not make the catch. (Most of his flair for the dramatic is during catching attempts.) When asked how he possibly ended up with the wound on his elbow, his answer was that he put his arm just so when he hit the ground to avoid landing on his head. LANDING ON HIS HEAD PEOPLE! Though I am starting to think that perhaps that may have helped in some way... Now, if this were a full-contact sport, or a sport that required this type of devotion, I would understand. Or even if this particular league- or even his team- were this dedicated that they expected blood to win the title of Kickball champs, I would understand. But his own teammates mock his weekly injuries. I couldn't even look at this week's wound, and instead of sympathy, he got anger and chastisement. Therefore, in addition to my obsession with the constant Turn Lane Fruit, I am now going to openly report on Thomas' weekly injuries to the world. Because really- it's freakin' kickball.